New drug

Thankfully my blood count recovered in time for me to get chemo yesterday. Although I have to admit I spent the bulk of last week hoping it wouldn't as I was so tired - fatigue is undoubtedly accumulating and I'm struggling with it. Which is one of the reasons I haven't emailed anyone recently - apologies for that. So far so good with the other drug so I'll tackle the emails very soon.

As yet I'm not suffering from any side-effects. I had mild nausea yesterday but that went after I'd eaten. I am very tired but whether that's the drugs or the continuation of a constant theme is hard to know. Most importantly I didn't suffer from any allergic reaction, which I have to say had me worried, especially the anaphylactic shock part. The steroids I had to take actually ensure that the most severe effects are kept to a miminum but I had no symptom at all. Fatigue, hair loss (what hair?) and painful joints and muscles are likely to be the worst problems this time round but since I already tick two of these boxes I'm not particularly worried. Incidentally I don't know if I've mentioned this on here yet but I look a bit like Litvinenko. When that picture of him lying in hospital was first released I thought 'Oh, um, no, you're imagining things', especially as I don't look like him when we both look healthy. But then I let it slip in a couple of conversations with people who see me regularly and they went 'Yes, that's what I was thinking, too'. Some people know how to make you feel good about yourself. Having said that, considering that the side-effects up until now have included: nausea, fatigue, heartburn, sore and bleeding gums, mouth ulcers, sore and watery eyes, collapsing veins, hair loss, effect on bone marrow (leading in low blood count and shortness of breath) and menopausal symptoms, most of which have kept me awake at night, I can hardly expect to be a picture of health.

The chemo day unit has moved to the tenth floor (from the third) and is a more pleasant area, though not ideal by any means. The waiting room is minute, and compared to some, I look positively healthy. Especially at this time of the year, with all the bugs doing the rounds. However, I'm starting to 'make friends' with those people I see regularly and it's actually nice being able to share our experiences and little pieces of advice with one another. As I've already said I can't complain because the level of support I have got has been second to none, and I can't thank people enough. However, sharing with people who know exactly what you are going through offers additional strength and the ability to be completely open. Anyway, I managed to get a nice cosy place, as far as it goes in such a place, in a corner yesterday and proceeded to watch The Incredibles on my portable media player. It did help settle my nerves as I really don't enjoy that place. Another piece of good news is that there will be a separate room for those receiving Herceptin. Herceptin is not a chemo drug per se, as it doesn't destroy healthy cells. Instead, it targets the cancer cells and also attracts the body's immune cells to help destroy the cancer cells. This means that the side-effects are virtually non-existent. Since I'll be on Herceptin for a whole year, receiving it every three weeks, I'd rather be in a room where people don't look like they're on the verge of collapsing - very selfish I know but a lot kinder on my nerves.

I'd better be off for the time being. I hope you're all well and got your Christmas cards and shopping under control - I haven't of course, nothing new there.