Radiotherapy

I saw another oncologist last week - I don't know how many I've seen so far, it's all starting to add up - who talked me through the radiotherapy element of my treatment. I still don't know when that'll happen - I'm waiting to hear about my 'Planning session'. What I do know is that it'll last five weeks - the consultant diplomatically told me that 'Women with small breasts can get away with three weeks, however in your case...'. Honestly, they're not that big - I felt a bit like Jordan when she said it the way she did. I will also be getting tattoos - four wee dots forming a rectangle and basically locating the area needing treatment - so I won't be needing a mid-life crisis now. I'll be seeing a specialist again to sort out Herceptin and the hormone treatment. Because Herceptin can, in a small number of cases, cause heart damage I'm also waiting to hear about a scan to determine my baseline capacity.

On the good news front my cycle has started again and I'm now getting the best of both worlds - period pain and hot flushes. I was actually happy to see my cycle back only to be reminded that Tamoxifen (the hormone treatment) is very likely to disrupt everything again. Ah well, I'll enjoy it while I can. My 'hair' is still growing and I have to say I'm really looking forward to the day it'll be back to normal - I'm starting to really miss it.

Overall I'm ok. I'm a bit fed up and frustrated as the treatment is taking so long and more or less taking over my life. I think that the years of illness are not helping. I first fell ill in 1993 and have had quite a few problems since then. I had to drop out of uni twice and gradually give up on things. Then I finally got well enough to attend uni, first part-time, then managing to complete my final year full-time. This was supposed to be the first step into employment so the diagnosis of cancer in September was a huge setback. I am annoyed with it now and can get quite angry at times. Still, I know I can't do anything about it and I'm trying to get on with things. I've now started a Wildlife Gardening course and that's already proving to be enjoyable. It's a Distance Learning course and I have up to three years to complete it. I got a bit worried when I saw my first assignment, in which I have to design a wildlife garden - this is something I have never done. Anyway I've decided not to worry about grades - yes, those who know me, you've read it correctly - and I'll be creating quite an extravagant garden. Just cos I can. The course should be a good complement to my Environmental Biology degree and offer more practical solutions in terms of conservation.

I won't waffle on any longer. I gather some are having problems leaving messages - I have no idea how to remedy this, sorry but thank you for trying.

Oh, and I've posted some more photos on my Flickr account.