One year on

I started chemotherapy one year ago today - I can't quite believe it's been one year already. Not that it should come as a surprise, since I had six months of chemo, then one month off before surgery, and finally seven weeks of radiotherapy. It all adds up in the end. I'm just glad chemotherapy's well and truly behind me.

Yesterday I had my first injection of Herceptin, and thankfully I suffered no side-effects whatsoever. That in itself feels great but it wasn't what I'd call a good day. I hadn't realised I'd got quite worked up until Sunday evening, when the headache I'd had all day started to make me feel quite sick. The headache was still there yesterday morning, and the digestive system had joined in. So I made my way there, with my Mum, feeling miserable. Although my appointment was at 10am, I wasn't seen until 11.45am - this didn't exactly help the nerves. The nurse then had problems with my veins - I had to place my hand in a bowl of hot water, which didn't help as much as hoped: two veins blew, and one semi-collapsed, leaving me with three bruises. The injection itself was fine: it lasted 90 minutes and there were no side-effects. Unfortunately, as a precautionary measure, I was made to stay on the ward until 5.20pm. I think the only way I can explain how bad this place is for me is by saying that I didn't drink or eat anything - I was far too tense to do it, if that makes any sense. The chemotherapy ward is a place where people clearly look ill, if not when they get in, as the treatment progresses. You walk in looking pale (usually) and you slowly turn into a weird shade of grey-green. Yesterday was particularly bad as several people were wheeled in looking extremely ill - the stereotypical cancer patient, emaciated, all skins and bones. At one point, a woman was clearly suffering and groaning in pain, and had to be given oxygen. I did find yesterday particularly upsetting - I don't know whether it was because I was very tired and stressed, but I was close to tears. Compared to what some people have been through or are going through, I have had it easy. And I've had some pretty bad times. I can't imagine working in such an environment, but the nurses there do an outstanding job. You always here about how bad the NHS supposedly is, about how unhappy nurses are, but if they are, they certainly don't let it affect their jobs. They make the whole experience a lot easier for the patients with their caring, kindness and sense of humour, and they're doing it under very difficult conditions. They deserve a heck of a lot more credit than they get.

Other than that, I don't seem to be having any side-effects with Tamoxifen either. Maybe the nausea of last week was down to stress, or something I'd eaten or even a bug. Besides the exhaustion caused by yesterday's trip, I feel fine. I'm not complaining.

I hope life is treating you kindly. I'll try and sort some more photos soon.